Guilt

Devin went up to see Kristen alone during the visiting hours last night. I had a bad episode yesterday morning and had trouble rallying for the rest of the day. When we came to the apartment for the evening shift change. (They encourage us to leave.)I fell asleep. It is amazing to me how draining emotions can be. I can only describe it as walking around in a fog. I feel guilt whenever I'm not with her. But guilt is an emotion that the evil one would like us to focus on instead of on love.

Kristen is somewhat conscience during the day. They try to keep her sedated over night and enough during the day that she doesn't try to rip out her O2 tube. She looked at me several times during the day yesterday. (That's why when I have an "episode", I leave the room.) I don't want one negative thought our emotion to transfer from me to her. I can tell that she responds to Devin and my voices. I also caught her twitching her foot a few times. For those of you who know her really well you know this is a nervous habit of hers.

Devin will do all the technical blogging on Kristen's site. I'm just going to let the feelings flow here. Please continue to email the verses, encouragement, or just an I love you. I tell Kristen about them each day. Her phone is off so you have to send them through me. Or Devin. If you don't have our main emails you can reach us at jblog2010@gmail.com .

As I read along in my Red Sea Rules:
1)Pray that God shows Kristen a way thru this.
2)That God be glorified in this trial.
3)Acknowledge the enemy but keep your focus on God
4)Pray! (I've taken to at times just thinking "Lord, Kristen!" when I can't think of a specific. I also visualize her healing from head to toe.)

Also pray for the wonderful staff in the ICU. This is not an easy place to work. You see tragedy and heartbreak everyday. God has truly placed a calling in their lives to work here. Also, pray for Elsa the activities director from the pediatric unit. She stops by regularly and offers support.
2)